So, last night we (Buildings Breeding) played our friend Josh's birthday bash. We followed grind-core band Knife Thru the Head, who stuck microphones up their bums, wore g-strings and had skulls on their packages.
Surprisingly, everyone dug us even though we weren't metal at all. In fact, I felt like I was in the Jackson 5, because girls were SCREAMING hysterically. It was amazing, but I could not sing very well while laughing my arse off.
I also slammed on the drums a bit more furiously than usual. Perhaps this is partly due to the fact that we played right after an intense hardcore band and also due to the fact that I was slightly drunk.
The result was this massive bruise on my shin from my kick pedal, which I didn't notice until this morning. (Thanks IPA keg!) I named it Bruise Willis.
Yes, I am blatantly showing off some shoes that I think are adorable.
Okay, I know that "cougar" is a pretty sexist term. One of the many reasons: There is no other "buzz word" for an old dude with a young girl (except for maybe "sugar daddy," which still shames the girl in the relationship, rather than the man). The list goes on: It's an animalistic term, it's not thought of as "powerful" but predatory and negative, etc. (Jezebel blogger Dodai explains better than me.)
Double-standards and sexism aside, I can't help but be fully entertained by TV Land's reality show "The Cougar," which neighbors Alicia and Justin (whose cable I borrow, since I am a cable-less hippie) make fun of me for enjoying on the regular. Honestly, I will watch any reality dating show and be stoked. Why? Because I like to make fun of people and form fake alliances with TV characters. Duh. (Do you yell at the TV during football? I yell at the TV during "Rock of Love.")
An example of my obsession is this direct quote from Alicia on G-Chat this morning whilst talking of plans for the evening: "I'm pretty sure all you'll really want to do though is drink wine and watch the cougar." Wine on the couch on a Friday night? How very "cougar" of me.
And, so, that is why I have decided that I may be what I like to call a CLIT: Cougar Lady in Training.
That's right. The cougar is changing thanks to the trend of irony. CLITs are the "new and improved" cougars: We still like our white wine, but we don't have younger boyfriends. Why? Because boys under 30 don't know how to handle this CLIT.
I met Showalter last year when he performed with John Vanderslice in San Francisco for the SF SketchFest. As the often true celeb stereotype goes, he was a lot shorter than he looks on-screen. He also was pretty serious-like. I still love him, though, as you can tell in the below picture:
Oh, and if you aren't already following good ol' MIB on Twitter, you should definitely start. Dude's become the only reason I log-on to Twitter these days. Here are some examples of my favorite tweets:
"Today is my daughter's kindergarten recital: BOOOORING!!!"
"Made a campfire with the kids: fantasized about the fire getting out of control and destroying everything. Then ate s'mores."
"Back from watching "Earth." SPOILER ALERT: polar bears are in trouble."
"Just realized that "rampage" can be rearranged to make "grampa" + e. Coincidence?"
You were crazy, but you were a genius who contributed to the greatest Wilco records: Summerteeth and Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. I always wondered what A Ghost is Born would've been like if you were on it.
I've been known to unintentionally salivate over imaginary food dangling in front of me on-screen or deliciously penned on the page. Maybe it's because I enjoy eating way too much. (I suffer from "noisy/slurpy eater's syndrome." Sorry Emily Post.). But, I've come to the realization that many of the TV shows, movies and books I obsess over involve lots of food, or descriptions of food.
I blame "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids," whose art director is actually a former co-worker over at the UC Davis Department of Theatre & Dance:
Little Debbie, you placement whore!
Or, maybe it all started with this stoney dragon that made friggin' books look delicious:
Whatever the reason, I give you a list of my favorite food frenzied fiction (say that 3 time fast):
1. The Sopranos It's unfortunate that I couldn't find a good clip with Carmella Soprano cooking the Sunday dinner. Janice is wacky, but this clip is an example of how they go all-out with introducing the food in every scene. There's something about the Italian American pronunciation of classic dishes: gabagool (AKA capicola ham), rigot pie (ricotta pie), chicken parm, etc. Tony's always eatin' "prosciut" straight outta da fridge (and fainting from panic attacks at the sight of it), and good ol' Carm is always re-heating leftover baked ziti for Tony after a hard day's work at Ba-Da-Bing, the local strip joint. Don't even get me started with Vesuvio, the Italian restaurant the wise guys frequent. My favorite food-related Soprano quote is from the big guy himself, yelling at Carmella on the phone: "Yeah, yeah. I'll pick up some sausages. Whaddaya want?! HOT OR SWEET?!" How about both, Tony?
Thankfully, I'm not the only person who worships Sopranos food. Check this out:
In case you've never seen it. It's an Ang Lee film about the three daughters of a Chinese master chef. I think the film starts with dad gutting a fish, which ends up being this elaborate dish in like a matter of cinematic minutes. I guess you could say I was fish-hooked from the get-go. (Good one, Glover.)
All around this addictive AMC show is visually stunning: the beautiful actors, the sets, the costumes and perfect early '60s lingo. But, OMG, the food. First off, the cocktails: Bloody Mary's with huge celery slices during business meetings? Yes, please. A little bourbon and a cigarette? Sure. How about an Old Fashioned or a Tom Collins? Mmm. Secondly, the food: Betty's meatloaf? Of course. Negotiations at dark restaurants with all-you-can-eat oysters topped with lemon and chives? Duh. Ribeye in the pan? Yes, with butter. "Joy of Cooking" fans and alcoholics everywhere are STOKED. And so are bloggers. A ton of foodie blogs are dishing out Mad Men-inspired recipes.
5. Hook Sorry dudes. I simply could not exclude this bang-a-rang imaginary feast. GIANT turkey legs and weird bright blue smurf pies looked amazing when I was 10 years-old and they still do.
She gets an average of 60 to 100 comments on every post about her crazy awesome fashion sense. I'm guessssing her parents have PhDs and are totally loaded, because who would create this kind of mini-adult?
Regardless, welcome to Gurl, Inform Me. I will do my best to give you a laugh or point you toward a neat discovery. I doubt I will ever be as cool as Savvy Tavi (who blogs about how difficult it was being a toddler in the '90s), but I promise you that I will never thank you for being "epic," as the moppet quite articulately says in her video. Enjoy (if you can get through the whole thing). Gad, that lisp is adorable!
After watching it, I can safely say that Little Miss Twiggy is a cute combo of these three:
So, last night we (Buildings Breeding) played our friend Josh's birthday bash. We followed grind-core band Knife Thru the Head, who stuck microphones up their bums, wore g-strings and had skulls on their packages.
